It's All Relative

A Contemporary Fantasy Serial Web Novel

Updates Tuesdays and Thursdays

Author's Blog


Author: Oh gosh, I hope this last part isn't a story of epic failure. I hope my fans are happy with this outcome. *types away on laptop*

Sora was getting married tomorrow to the ultra super love of her life, Asahi. She was so happy she could finally marry the person that she loved the most in her life.
Asahi had bought her the most expensive car he could find because her old geo storm finally broke down. He bought her everything she ever desired. Now she had to tell Ryo and Asahi's parents. She was kso scared that they would overreacted, but she loved Asahi so much that she didn't care.
"Mom, Dad, Sora and I are getting married," Asahi told his parents.
"Oh we know. We've known for quite some time," Asahi's mother said.
"How did you know?"
"It's only natural for the two main characters to get married at the end," his mother said.
"And maybe Sora here will pop out a few freakishly unnatural babies that will be extra special. I'd love to have some grandchildren," Asahi's dad said. "Unless you're already pregnant... that's why you're having this shotgun wedding."
"Oh no," Sora said with a blush. She always blushed, even though people couldn't probably tell. "I'm not pregnant, but I bet in a couple months time I will be."
"Yeah, it's only natural that we'd have a honeymoon baby," Asahi said, his skin glistening and sparkling in the intense heat of the brightest sun.
"Alright, I approve," Asahi's father said.
"Yay! Let us get married without haste!" Asahi said.

The wedding was beautiful and the decorations were expensive and probably put everyone involved into debt. Then again they were rich and had everything at their disposal, as such the main character should have since they are the best people in the world and deserve a life that can't possiblyk go wrong.
"Do you Asahi MacLaine take Sora Kainomori to be your lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and health, for richer and poorer, for happy and sad, for life and death and everything inbetween. From peas and carrots, from ashes to dust, for as long as you both shall live?"
Asahi hesitated and looked at Sora. "I do." Sora did the same.
"I do."
"With the power invested in me by the state of California and my parole officer, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now get jiggy with it."
The reception was equally as white as the wedding. The planner thought to emphasis white, though white was only reserved for respectable women.
Everyone congratulated Sora and Asahi on their big day.
"May I cut in?" said a voice. Sora gasped.
They danced.
"So when's your honeymoon?"
"Soon, why?"
"I don't want you having sex with Asahi, it's bad for your health."
"And having sex with you wouldn't be? It's none of your business."
"It is my business cuz I'm making it my business."
"That doesn't even make sense. You're an idiot. Shut up!"
"Someone get this fool out of our wedding!" Asahi yelled. A bunch of people pulled Takun away.
"I'll kill you!" Takun yelled as if Sora's sex life was his main priority.

Sora forgot everything that happened at her wedding since most bad things are always forgotten by the main character anyway. She and Asahi went to some special secret island off the coast of some special secret place.
"I don't want to have sex with you," Asahi said. "I might hurt you really bad."
"It's alright, I can take it. I won't remember anything anyway and it won't hurt. I'll just be really bruised."
"Are you sure?"
"Asahi, I'm your wife, it's your duty to please my booty."
And then they made love.

Sora woke up in the morning and was covered in bruises. She also was covered in broken pillows and feathers.
"Look at what happened. You're hurt now and I'm going to be all emo and nearly ruin our honeymoon with my emo-ness."
"It's alright. Practice makes perfect."
"Wow, I never thought of it that way."
And then they made love again and everything faded away into the blackest darkest night while the moon hung overhead in a milky white cream sphere that hung in the darkest black night.

Two hours later, Sora was really hungry. Then she realized that she was pregnant. There was no explanation for it. She just was, even though it was impossible to have a griffin/phoenix mate with a fox/wolf. It didn't make sense, but the author said that her words were "misconstrued" and all was well.
Asahi was freaked out and said to get rid of the monster demon child, but Sora refused because the story would be incredibly short if they took the easy way out.
So five minutes later, Sora gave birth to a baby girl that they named Takaqui Kiyoli after their parents because it was tradition that all main characters name their children after other people.
Takun called the girl "Canoli" because it was easier to say than the abomination of a name that was Renee... uh... Takaqui. Sora got really mad and attacked Takun because he named their daughter after an italian pastry!!!!!!!!!! Takun imprinted on Canoli, but was taken away by the police because he was now a pedophile and had to register as a sex offender. But he didn't care because Canoli would be full grown in three days.

Sora and Asahi lived forever as vamp...uh... animari.
"I love you so much, Asahi," Sora said. "Despite everything that's happened between us. The fact that my ex-boyfriend is in love with our two month old freak daughter is irrelevant when it comes to being with you."
"I love you too."
It was quiet. Sora thought of all the memories that they shared.
"Wanna have sex now?" Asahi asked.
"Always and forever."
They shared their little bit of happiness forever and forever.

Por Fin

Author: I think I may have written the greatest story ever!

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Episodes marked with an asterisk (*)contain violence and/or sex and are not safe for work.